He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
my liver is dry heaving
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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