look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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