I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
