I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
