I haven't been this sober since birth.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
