your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
