why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
