Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
