I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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