you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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