There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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