3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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