she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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