I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
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