Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
