Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
