wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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