i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
