so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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