Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
