i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
