walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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