can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
