piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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