I am puke
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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