You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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