I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
