shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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