We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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