Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
