when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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