it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I love you.
Bad choice
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
