sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
