If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
