Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
