so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
