I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He has the fingertips of a God
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
