are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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