Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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