Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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