I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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