My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
