I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
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Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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