I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
