I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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