i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
