I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
