is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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