yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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