I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
