I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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