I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
