Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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