you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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