how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
