I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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