your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
the raccoons are back...
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