and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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