You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
