How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
