So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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