She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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