she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
