Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
