Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize