we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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