i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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